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Sometimes serious relationships as an outcome of dating among teenagers can turn sour, leading to violence or abuse by the partner. A possessive partner may make decisions in a relationship about where to meet, where to go, whom to talk to or what to do. He or she may pressurize their partner to stop seeing his or her friends by using jealousy as the only excuse. A possessive teenager may monitor his or her partner's each and every move or follow their partner's around on the sly.
Violence and abuse among teenagers is quite prevalent these days, if a partner does not act according to the commands of her date. Usually females are victims of violence and abuse and this could be either mental or physical.
Some common types of abuses are:
• Forcible sex when the partner is not ready or sexually abusing when they are not ready for a sexual relationship.
• Emotional blackmailing such as threatening to commit suicide if a partner tries to break the relationship, or threatening to reveal the secret about a sexual relationship to the whole society.
• Physical violence, in any ways like grabbing, shoving, hitting, and punching.
Some people think that extreme jealousy is the main reason for such abuses or violence. Most of us take jealousy as a sign of affection and love, but giving excuses of jealousy for committing such acts cannot be tolerated or condoned. While healthy arguments in a relationship are okay, physical abuse is not. Decisions are made together in an equal relationship. A person cannot make sole decisions.
How can one deal with violence and abuse in a relationship?
• While looking for a serious relationship, make sure that you choose a person who suits your needs. Test him or her to see whether he or she is overly possessive about each and everything.
• If you are in a serious relationship, after a series of dates sort out any differences between you and your partner.
• If your partner is physically or mentally abusing you, consult your parents, or your teacher. A counselor may also help you to solve this problem. Contacting the battered women's program in your area is the best way if the abuse and violence is getting more serious. Remember this applies not only to heterosexual relationships but also lesbian and gay relationships.
Author: Pauline Go
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